There’s this rumor going around about this one pay phone in
the city. He’s apparently in great condition still. Of course he would be. He
stays at the Fairmont on Mason Street. He is beautiful, and lovely, and has a
British accent. Whatever. I bet his dials are crooked. I don’t know the
accuracy of this information, but I heard he was in the new Maroon 5 song
Pay phone. Adam Levine would love me so much more. I’m quite charming and have
character leaking out of my dial tone. I don’t mean to be jealous of this
pay phone who was never gotten his handle dirty, but I’ve just seen so many
things in my life. I’ve been captured by crack heads who thought I was an alien.
That was a weird phase in my life. I’m the grand- phone of a famous telegraph.
I do matter, for Christ’s sake, but lately I feel like I’m the object of
ridicule.
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